By Sarah Koppelkam
How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: don’t
talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.
Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything
if she’s gained weight.
If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say
that. Here are some things you can say instead:
“You look so healthy!” is a great one.
Or how about, “you’re looking so strong.”
“I can see how happy you are – you’re glowing.”
Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to
do with her body.
Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a
single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.
Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness
towards yourself.
Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in
front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a
diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t
say “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that
carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about
yourself.
Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel
less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is
nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe.
Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it
scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.
Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because
sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no
matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her
play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.
Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move
their furniture.
Teach your daughter how to cook kale.
Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six
sticks of butter.
Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee
cake. Pass on your love of being outside.
Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide
ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your
daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her
ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she
can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.
Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her
body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.
